the sound of your serenade from the open window.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
ok . actually last night i was supposed to post another post instead of the ahma post . but i couldnt take it lar . hahas dun want to talk about him already . yesterday got back frm camp . hahas . it was totally cool lar . met lots of new friends too . too bad it ended so early . actually at first didnt really like it there and stuff . oyeah and fell sick . sighs . everytime i go for camp i ALWAYS fall sick . but then later no more sick so liked it alot better . it would have been alot better if SOMEONE also came . but THAT person just kept making EXCUSES . so whatever . anyway the camp was totally fun . like did alot of stuff . and the sessions were really good . could feel Gods presence there . and all the campers were very friendly and stuff . hahas . who ask YOU never go . huo gai arhs . xPp . yeah last night slept at 1 something lar . then my mum was like nagging cos i was in front fo the comp sneezing and coughing . hahas . she say i dun let everybody else sleep also . so in the end have no choice go to sleep lors . hee~ . yeah . so now im sick . my throat is like so sore . and now my voice is like a guys . anyways . last night xin ask me go read someones blog . and i went to read it . is like SO TOUCHING . sobs . cry for that person arh . the persons heart got broken . i can so understand how he felt lar . but my situation wasnt as bad as his . it was SO SAD . and even though he heart was broken by someone else . he still kept loving her and praying for her . like kept wishing her well . ok so i know the HER person . and i know the her person isnt bad and stuff . cmon lar . i knew her for like half my life . pratically . but is like how could she do that . she broke his heart . after all they've been together too . i thought they would always be together lar . but well . nothing ever lasts forever . and i better then anyone should know that better . hahas . people are always changing . when you think that you know a person really well . later on you will find out that you dont know him at all . when you really begin to think that you are finally a part of his life but suddenly he tells you you are nothing to him . when he opens up to you and you feel that finally he sees you . only later he says nothing and leaves you all alone once again . yeah something like that . the process is long and painful . you feel like yelling at the person to stop hurting you and bashing the person up . yet evertime for even that second that he comes back to you . your love for him just rushes out again . and everytime he leaves you . you cant help but hope he will return even when you know after he returns he will just leave you again . you know that he will never ever love you back . but you just cant stop loveing him . and you just cant stop hoping that he will one day love you the same way you love him . though he probably never will . you cant help wishing for it . its all painful . and it hurts all the time . you always wish he would come back but scared that it will hurt . to love someone is the must hurting thing you can ever do to yourself . but you just cant help it . you just can help loving him . you dont care about the pain . you are willing to suffer for HIM . as long as you get even one secong with him . you're willing to brave through all difficulties just for him . just to bad he doesnt realize anything . to him you are as important as the dirt on his feet . you are not important to him all . too bad i had to go through all that before i realized what happen . just too bad
words spilled @ 2:54 AM /
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