the sound of your serenade from the open window.
Friday, January 23, 2009
GAWD my nails are a wreck now. luckily i didnt do my manicure in the morning as planned. (: actually the original plan was simply just to go to grans house for lunch and help my mum collect something. BUT in the end ended up helping her peel crabs for CNY. (: but i like peeling crabs anyway. pity bout it being preparing and so i cant it it part though. (: but i think this is sorta payback for monday when i was supposed to help her make achar. so whatever. (: but i still gotta eat some of the crab. cos there apparently was one to many... so i got to eat a few SCRAWNY legs. hahas(: but it still tasted awesome. YAY. i cant wait for CNY. GAWD. all the yummy food. and MONEY. gosh. anyway after that spent quality time with my sweeties. i think matthew will like totally turn into a stud when he grows up. plus he has this LOWlow voice. and he hasnt even broken it yet. plus he can SING. how cute is that. his like only 4 kays... but OMG i love him. hahas(: i think he can be a rock star or something. how cool would that be(: hms anyways tmr will be a whole day of CLEANING. and at night we're going to chinatown. yay(: but i sorta had plans for tmr and it sucks that it'll have to be cancelled... i was so looking out to hangingout! ahhs. whatever... hms... gotta sleep early today... got a WHOLE days work to do tmr. NIGHTS(:
am i being to pushy? or wanting to much for things to be the same? but somehow we both know it never will be the same... i just want to know how youve been getting on? are you attacthed? are you okay? gawd. i just miss the times we had together so much. but it somehow feels different now. maybe its cos weve both grown up. theres a caution to our speech. an awkward pause and a waiting silence. on a first glance it seems like itd never change. but after awhile it feels different. like we are different... it sometimes feels like youre being extra careful or something... and sometimes i feel like im being extra careful too. like i dont know if i should say certain things. cos i dont know how you will react to it. because i dont know if... and im definitely not going to ask. im determined not to be the first one to take initiative. i think youre being as stubborn too... gawd it looks like this is never going to work out man. ahs. ever since i first talked to you. after the whole break. there are questions that have been killing me. but im afraid to ask. cause im scared youve moved on. and im just this silly girl whos still stuck in the past. but i dont want to live life with regrets again. not anymore. like yesterday when i couldnt bring myself to say that to you. i regreted it. so thats why i did what i did today. and though i feel stupid about it. i dont regret it... ahhs. im just soo confused right now. if only you would say something... but even if it doesnt work out. we ll still be friends okay. promise? ... till next time ...
words spilled @ 1:22 AM /
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