the sound of your serenade from the open window.
Friday, December 09, 2005
now its almost 12 midnight . recieved an sms frm HIM . i dunno why he keeps doing that . keep tormenting me . keep hurting me . keep making me cry . i have totally no idea why . everytime i try to forget him . and almost suceed . he appears again . and the whole painful process starts all over again . i just want to hate him . but i cant . i just want to ignore him . but i cant . i just want things to be normal again . i want things to be the way it was before i met him . but i know . because of him . its not possible now . for him i have had many sleepless nights . many happyless days . i have no idea how many times i cried . just because of him . its really painful you know . i just want to forget him . want to get rid of him . but everytime i try i never suceed . its hopeless . everytime he appears again . i cant seem to push him away . no matter how hard i try . i'll just go back to him . only to be rejected once again . it's terrifying how just this one person can cause so much change in my life . its amazing how this one person can inflict so much hurt and pain unto me . i've never felt this weak before . im exhausted . im tired of trying to run away . im tired of hidding in a corner . but i still i cant seem to face him . when im in his presence i just totally ... i dunno . cant seem to find any word to describe it . but even though i keep getting hurt . i still cant help but hope that . i can still be with him . i know its silly of me . or even stupid . but . i dunno . theres just this glimmer of hope . cos when im with him . everything is good again . i just feel great . but without him . theres always a part of me that is empty . always a part of me longing for something . sighs . but what would he want with me . nothing . to him im just a stupid little girl . he sees nothing in me . ok . i sound so stupid and dumb right . i mean . here am i falling hopelessly for this guy who doesnt even see me . ok he does see me . if not why is he always smsing me . especially when i just started to forget him . up he appears again . like some bouncing bunny in a freaking magicians hat . I SO HATE HIM . i really do . i keep telling it to myself . to make me belive it . except . i dont mean it at all . i dont mean it at all .
words spilled @ 4:03 PM /
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